Over the last couple of weeks my resolve has been severely tested.
Exactly 2 weeks ago, my husband left home, just as the lockdown started. The main reason for his leaving? My ‘crusade for animals’ as he called it. Since becoming vegan, apparently I am uncompromising, despite the fact that I have endured his consumption of meat and dairy daily whilst deliberately trying not to make him feel guilty about it. After all, I wasn’t vegan when we met, just vegetarian so I am not guilt free.
So, with his leaving, I have been doing a lot of ‘navel gazing’ and been asking myself whether this fight is worth it. Am I really making any difference? I have driven my husband away and I miss him. Are animals worth that? What if I didn’t care? Then I could live like so many others; happy and carefree. Their consciences don’t bother them because they don’t examine them. They live how they want to live and what’s wrong with that? They enjoy their holidays, they eat what they like and they recycle! They don’t think twice about things like swimming with dolphins, they have no qualms about the palm oil in their food and they certainly don’t think too deeply about the meat and dairy they consume. I guess this is how my husband wants to live and, to a certain extent, how we used to live. So what happened?
Well, my conscience. That’s what happened. Like so many vegans, when I became aware of the truth behind our exploitation of animals I became angry and resolved to do all I could to bring the suffering to an end whilst living the rest of my life without deliberately harming anyone or anything. In this, yes, I am uncompromising and I make no apology for that but the responsibility sometimes weighs me down so much that it overwhelms me. I admit that I am often reduced to tears by the enormity of the task ahead.
So what if I compromised more? I don’t mean stop being vegan but in other areas. What if I compromised on flying abroad for holidays? What harm could that do? How about if I didn’t insist on recyclable packaging? Maybe I could ignore the palm oil in products and just eat what I liked instead of going without because of the unsustainable ingredients. What if I stopped rehoming ex battery hens and gave up my other animals so that I was more free to travel?
Well, then I may as well sell my soul. I am making a difference, as all vegans are. It is often hard to believe, when all around are farms full of animals and people living in ignorant bliss, but we mustn’t give up. No matter how heavy the burden, we must speak out for the voiceless.
I do compromise, every single day, in my interaction with others, I compromise. But I will not compromise my conscience. I will not compromise in my fight for those gentle souls’ freedom. I must be true to my purpose and have the moral courage to continue on my path , even if it alienates those I love.
Yes, it feels like a very lonely road right now but it is one I must travel and I am confident I will pick up many friends along the way.
Join me and let’s make a difference!